The latest in our series of writers standing up for maligned films is a defence of Channing Tatum’s frenetic franchise starter
The year is 1641. We mở cửa in France, where confusingly, everyone is speaking English. A Scottish man has been caught selling weapons lớn enemies of Louis XIII, and as punishment is forced to lớn wear a red-hot iron mask forever. Cut khổng lồ “the not too distant future”, where the man’s descendant, Christopher Eccleston, is presenting a lecture about newly weaponised flying metal bugs to lớn some Nato employees. “Originally developed to isolate and kill cancer cells, at MARS industries we discovered how to program nanomites to do almost anything. For example … eat metal”. It turns out “nanomites” can also be injected into rocket warheads, & thus the back story and premise of GI Joe: The Rise of Cobra is explained in less than a minute.
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The opening sets the tone for the film that follows – speedy, irony-free B-movie kích hoạt nonsense, delivered to you with the efficiency of a Big Mac on a Friday night và if it requires Christopher Eccleston to do a Power
Point presentation so we can get on with watching helicopters blow up in slow motion, then dammit Christopher Eccleston will vì a Power
Point. On đứng top of which, this particular Big Mac is filled with … Channing Tatum.
Despite his previous acting highlights including the Step Up dance movies and grinding topless in the background of the đoạn phim for Ricky Martin’s She Bangs, when asked about GI Joe in an interview in 2012, Channing Tatum said, “I fucking hate that movie.” Luckily for us, in 2009 Channing Tatum did a three-movie giảm giá khuyến mãi with Paramount & was forced lớn accept the GI Joe role khổng lồ avoid being sued.
Despite his dislike of the film, Channing Tatum is still Channing Tatum and both he & his massive arms give it their all – và he has gone lớn the Michael cất cánh School of Turning Around in Slow Motion While Holding a Machine Gun. After turning around slowly, he and his partner Marlon Wayans load some nanomite warheads into a jeep, refer lớn a group of muscular male soldiers as “ladies” và tell them lớn “mount up”. Strap in, everyone.
What follows is a plot of such madness & a cast of characters so enormous (IMDb lists 144 in total) it’s understandable that it required a Power
Point to set it up. The truck is ambushed by Channing Tatum’s ex-girlfriend, Sienna Miller, và after a lengthy fight in which several members of elite army unit GI Joe parachute in khổng lồ save the day, Tatum & Wayans are transported khổng lồ an underground base in the Egyptian desert to participate in a training montage soundtracked by the UK band Bus Stop’s dance rap cover of T-Rex’s Get It On. (Fun fact: Bus Stop were fronted by rapper and professional football manager Darren “Daz” Sampson, who went on khổng lồ represent Britain in 2006’s Eurovision tuy vậy Contest.) Channing Tatum wins a gladiatorial pugil stick fight with GI Joe’s resident masked ninja, Snake Eyes, and to celebrate the boys all take their tops off.
A semi-naked Marlon Wayans attempts to charm one of the Joes (they are collectively referred khổng lồ as “Joes”) confusingly named Scarlett O’Hara, as she jogs on a treadmill while reading a book about quantum physics. (It is not clear why she needs to read a book about quantum physics when her job is beating people up – don’t worry about it.) Tatum puts on something called a Delta 6 accelerator suit and travels lớn Paris lớn stop Sienna Miller blowing up the Eiffel Tower, before charging around the Champs-Élysées running after tanks, jumping through bus windows & flipping over Renault Méganes. Joseph Gordon Levitt appears to lớn explain cobras to lớn everyone using a CGI snake in a glass box (“They are vicious”). Chaos reigns.
Writer/director Stephen Sommers was also in charge of both The Mummy and the 90s B-movie classic Deep Rising, và although in comparison GI Joe contains a more noughties post-Transformers fixation on guns and machinery than those two films, there is a similar air of fun, unapologetic kích hoạt campness throughout. If you’re happy khổng lồ suspend your disbelief khổng lồ its very limits và relax into 1 hour và 58 minutes of revolving door cast, plot delivered via flashbacks and laughably hammy dialogue, plus Channing Tatum blowing things up in slow motion – this is the film for you. Và give me that kind of Big Mac silliness over po-faced “serious” blockbuster action, any day of the week.
While fans of the Hasbro toy franchise may revel in a bit of nostalgia, G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra is largely a cartoonish, over-the-top kích hoạt fest propelled by silly writing, inconsistent visual effects, and merely passable performances. Read critic reviews
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Armed with the latest in military and spy technology, the team of elite soldiers known as G.I. Joe travel around the globe to lớn wherever their services are needed. In their latest assignment Gen. Hawk (Dennis Quaid), Duke (Channing Tatum) and the rest of the G.I. Joe team take on Destro (Christopher Eccleston), a corrupt arms dealer, và fight the growing threat of the mysterious Cobra organization.
Show MoreRating: PG-13 (Strong Seq. Of kích hoạt Violence|Mayhem Throughout)
Genre: Action, Adventure
Original Language: English
Release Date (Theaters): Aug 7, 2009 wide
Release Date (Streaming): Nov 3, 2009
Box Office (Gross USA): $150.2M
Runtime: 1h 58m
Distributor: Paramount Pictures
Production Co: Di Bonaventura Pictures
Sound Mix: SDDS, Dolby Digital, DTS
Aspect Ratio: Scope (2.35:1)
Cast & Crew
Channing Tatum
Duke
Dennis Quaid
Hawk
Adewale Akinnuoye-Agbaje
Heavy Duty
Christopher Eccleston
Destro
Sienna Miller
The Baroness
Joseph Gordon-Levitt
Commander
Rachel Nichols
Scarlett
Ray Park
Snake Eyes
Said Taghmaoui
Breaker
Marlon Wayans
Ripcord
Lee Byung-hun
Storm Shadow
Stephen Sommers
Director
Stuart Beattie
Screenwriter
David Elliot
Screenwriter
Paul Lovett
Screenwriter
Stephen Sommers
Executive Producer
David Womark
Executive Producer
Gary Barber
Executive Producer
Roger Birnbaum
Executive Producer
Erik Howsam
Executive Producer
Lorenzo di Bonaventura
Producer
Brian Goldner
Producer
Bob Ducsay
Producer
Alan Silvestri
Original Music
Ellen Mirojnick
Costume design
Bob Ducsay
Film Editing
Jim May
Film Editing
Ed Verreaux
Production kiến thiết
Mitchell Amundsen
Cinematographer
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Critic reviews for G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra
All Critics (169) | đứng top Critics (47) | Fresh (55) | Rotten (114)
Full Review… Cliff Doerksen Chicago Reader Full Review… Michael Phillips Chicago Tribune Full Review… Nick Schager Lessons of Darkness Full Review… Chuck Wilson Village Voice Full Review… Christopher Orr The New Republic Full Review… Rene Rodriguez Miami Herald Full Review… Allison Rose Flick
Direct Full Review… Owen Nicholls NME Full Review… Mike Massie Gone With The Twins Full Review… Richard Propes The
Independent
Critic.com Full Review… Leigh Paatsch Herald Sun (Australia) Full Review… Nikki Baughan Roll Credits
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